Not Cute, Jones
by thechrysalids
Summary: A St. Jones One Shot that takes place during Unique's Boogie Shoes performance. Jesse is pissed about Mercedes and Kurt about helping Unique but he gets...derailed.


**A short canon compliant one shot requested by a very sweet follower who really loves St. Jones. I'm always open for requests, they keep my writing fresh so send them! This takes place during Unique's 'Boogie Shoes' at Vocal Adrenaline's Regionals, because I love it so much. Warning for what could be (read: probably is) transphobia from my fav asshole Jesse. I PROMISE I WILL UPDATE ESPIONAGE WITHIN THIS WEEK.**

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Jesse's mouth hung open in shock at Wade dancing around on stage, he was helpless to do anything from the wings. Needless to say this is not what Jesse had created, not what he had hammered into Vocal Adrenaline's heads. Obviously it had been a mistake to elect Wade as featured vocalist, but Jesse's own hubris had convinced him he could mould the chubby male soprano into a soulless automaton that lived and breathed performance.

Jesse St. James was wrong.

And oh, how it burned him up inside.

Wade pranced around on the stage and Jesse rubbed at his forehead before he took in exactly what Wade was wearing.

 _Where the hell did he get those shoes? God Jesse, don't be a fucking idiot, where else would he have gotten them. From the two most annoying members of the New Directions. Of course they aren't here to say hello!_

Just as Jesse realized who had destroyed his precious performance, Mercedes grinned at him and clapped in his periphery, clearly reveling in Wade's number. He turned to look at the two offenders and grabs at Mercedes' arm to pull her further into the wings and then backstage.

"You think this is funny?"

"First of all you better get your pasty hand off of me, secondly what in the hell are you talking about?" She looked at him like he was insane.

"You think you and Liberace's forbidden love child can sabotage Vocal Adrenaline by encouraging Wade to try his cross-dressing routine ON. MY. STAGE? Not cute Jones." Mercedes raised an eyebrow at Jesse's quickly rising voice.

"Lower your voice! One, we didn't try to sabotage anything. Two, _UNIQUE_ is not a cross-dresser you ignorant _you-know-what-bag._ And three, I don't give a damn what you think is or isn't cute St. James." Mercedes swung him around to avoid the curious eyes of the stage hands milling about.

"Unique worked up a lot of courage to be who she truly is on stage and you'd do well to remember that. Besides even you have to admit that she is killing it out there." Jesse scoffed dramatically before responding.

"No doubt thanks to my absolutely flawless choreography and staging."

"If you really think you are the heart and soul of Vocal Adrenaline then you are crazier than I thought."

"And why is that?" Jesse took a step closer to her, crowding into her personal space and folding his arms.

"Because you, Jesse St. James have neither a heart nor a soul."

"Is that right Mercedes? I seem to remember a certain someone believing I had enough heart to hook up with in a New York hotel maids closet, before she dumped me for a thick lipped, straight nosed Owen Wilson impersonator." Mercedes frowned.

"I did not dump you! And Sam does not look like-You know what? This is ridiculous and it doesn't matter because Sam and I aren't together anymore." Jesse laughed out loud at that.

"Oh I know, everyone in the show choir blogosphere has a subscription with Jacob Ben-Israel. He's a bit of a guilty pleasure for Vocal Adrenaline, we just love watching the New Directions fall apart."

"Ok Jesse. You know what, I'm done talking to you about this, what happened in New York was a good time and a little revenge for myself against Rachel Berry that shouldn't ever be mentioned. Unique is a star and you would have to be blind not to see that! And you know what else?" Jesse stared, eyebrows raised in curiosity, Mercedes was all too happy to continue. "You can have all the fun you want watching us win Nationals. But for now you'll just have to settle for watching me walk way." She pushed her finger into his suit lapel and turned to walk away, but Jesse wouldn't be dismissed so easily.

Jesse clasped his hands together and took a deep breath before reaching out for Mercedes, preventing her from getting too far. He could hear the applause for Wa- _Unique_. He would have to be quick. _Yes,_ she was right, there was no doubt about it, but he was Jesse St. James, He never conceded defeat. She faced him once more to wrench her hand out of his grip, and probably drop a snide remark but Jesse took advantage of her dropped guard to plant a searing and rough kiss on her mouth. The angle was a bit awkward at first as Mercedes had been taken by surprise but when she gained her bearings her response was both bruising and sweet. Jesse parted his lips and slid his hands up to cup Mercedes' neck, urging her to deepen the meeting of their lips. Mercedes gave as good as she got and slid her tongue against Jesse's insistently. She tasted amazing and Jesse could feel his lower half respond to both her mouth and her scent; a mix of peaches and something deeper, darker. She moaned a little and he responded with a guttural noise in the back of his throat. What he wouldn't give to stow her away in a nearby supply closet ( _Always with the closets Jesse?)_ and slide between her soft thighs, run his hands all over her body, face, breasts, hips, anywhere and everywhere until she was shivering. Jesse would touch her in ways her little God-Squad boyfriend never could. Just as he was considering absconding away with her, there was another roar of applause signifying the end of Vocal Adrenaline's set. It'd only be a couple seconds before Kurt came looking for Mercedes and Vocal Adrenaline would line-up for their customary "Post-Show Berating". Mercedes pushed Jesse away from her and ran her hands through her hair, trying hard to smooth out any fly-aways Jesse had caused. Without a word, she turned and stormed back to the wings of the stage.

Jesse grinned, "See you at Nationals!"

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 **SAM SLANDER :(**

 **I hate myself because I constantly give Jesse and Mercedes an ambiguous and shady background/past because I just like the idea that they were messing around behind the scenes, but she cut it off when she started seeing Sam because cheating is no Bueno. Please review!**


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